God's Perfect Business Plan

If I believed in God I would pray for Harold Camping to be sent straight to hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Or in Camping’s case do not collect the millions of dollars taken in on his run up to the Rapture. His Family Radio organization filled a 2009 tax return with $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks. Apparently threatening to end the world is extremely good for business. He’s done it twice.

While I poke fun of people naïve enough to fall for the Rapture hype; far worse are the evangelical preachers like Camping who exploit their followers in the name of God. Unfortunately, religion, by its very nature, creates the power imbalance that leads to exploitation, whether financial, sexual or politically.

The true believer gives power to the God of their choice; sadly God comes with an entourage. The handlers interpret God’s word, set the goals and determine the pay scale. The believers always foot the bill. No business model makes more money with less overhead than savings souls. And there are always more souls to save. Camping’s followers believed they were helping save people from hell by donating money to his Rapture, an event that didn’t take place, and conveniently, doesn’t come with a money back guarantee.

Recently I watched the 1972 docomentary Marjoe, which follows former child preacher Marjoe Gortner on his last revivival circuit tour. Marjoe was a child preacher who raked in millions in donations that went into his parent pockets. As an adult, he colludes with the film makers to reveal how revivals work and how preachers use melodrama, theatre, sentimentality and good old fashion lying to rake in thousands a night, usually from people who can least afford to donate.

Marjoe, a confessed non-believer, exploses exactly how religious fraud works: by selling people false hope and reinforcing the beliefs they have; always with a call for donations to continue the Lord’s work. We see him and the other preachers counting buckets of cash each night, a sweaty Rapturous glow on their faces. Yet when the movie came out -and even now on websites- Christians claimed Marjoe was an insincere conman, not like their churchs. They swear on a Bible that their own preacher is sincere, that their religion is not exploitive, that their donations are going to good works. Their passionate denial (and random Bible quotes) are a testimony not just to their faith, but their inability to admit that maybe their religion is just as exploitive as Harold Camping or Marjoe.

In the weeks to come Harold Camping will talk his way out of his failed Rapture prediction. Maybe his math was off (again). Maybe God took pity on his people as he watched them give away their money or dison their heathen relatives. Or perhaps God was only testing his followers, like a fire drill for our souls. One thing we do know there will always be other Harold Camping and there will always be true believers willing to do anything to save their soul, even if it means denying all common sense. There is a reason is it called “blind faith”.